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May 23rd, 2007, 6:15 pm

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Reply jacob the comicmaker, May 23rd, 2007, 6:16 pm

Next comic is Miles guest one.....Enjoy and i'll proplery neec a grammer report on this one.

Reply Abyss (Guest), May 23rd, 2007, 6:44 pm

What beautiful grammar...

Reply ...Miles..., May 23rd, 2007, 6:45 pm

Panel 2: No apostrophe in "suspect's." (correct = suspects)

Panel 3: There IS an apostrophe in "were," and I think you mean anyway, as opposed to anywhy.(we're ; "...find out anyway)Also, in Jacob's text, you have the wrong "their." (they're)

Panel 4: you should probably have at least one question mark at the end of each of Miles's exclamations, as they are in fact questions. Also, in the green fox's text, you again have the wrong form of "their." (they're)

panel 5:Not strictly grammar, but you used the word "now" twice in quick succession. you might want to see if you can't find a synonym for one.

panel 6: you misspelled "Thanardier." (Thenardier). Also, in Miles' second text, you used "their," when it should have been "there." (there)Also, "quitely" is spelled "quietly."


I like the comic though. Look at my wife, isn't she... homely ^_^?

Reply jacob the comicmaker, May 23rd, 2007, 6:47 pm

I know i would have alot to fix.....Am off to fixing now....

Reply jacob the comicmaker, May 23rd, 2007, 6:49 pm

As if in the now thing.....I know placing the extre now was a bad idea

Reply Afroman17, May 23rd, 2007, 6:49 pm

what was that last part miles

Reply jacob the comicmaker, May 23rd, 2007, 6:58 pm

All fixed i think.....Any mistakes?

Reply ...Miles..., May 23rd, 2007, 7:02 pm

The half-done renamon recolour w/ hair is my future wife ^_^

Reply ...Miles..., May 23rd, 2007, 7:07 pm

Panel 3: my mistake... we're should be we'll. Also, Jacob's still using the wrong form of their. It should be they're.

Panel 4: You put a comma in they're as opposed to an apostrophe.

Panel 6: It should probably be simply, "a few minutes later." as opposed to "a few more minutes later," although that is a matter of writing style, and is your call.


Also, why didn't that traitor, Grayfang rat me out? I made my comic with the assumption that I would have to deal with him as a witness.

Reply jacob the comicmaker, May 23rd, 2007, 7:08 pm

I got to make a joke out of that.....I could have the song " you sexy thing" playing while you oogle your wife and shes doing that....Hmmm the last pose in the sprite sheet.....The rest are crying and trying to poke there eyes out

Reply jacob the comicmaker, May 23rd, 2007, 7:13 pm

He got a note from you.....He didnt see you personally.

As he said in this comic http://mystory.smackjeeves.com/comics/150064/

Reply jacob the comicmaker, May 23rd, 2007, 7:16 pm

*Grumble* now its fixed

Reply ...Miles..., May 23rd, 2007, 7:48 pm

Hehehe... you don't have to make the corrections. I just point them out because you seem to appreciate it ^_^

As for Adelaide, I picked her because she's homely (frankly, I hold a grudge against pretty girls... they tend to be such jerks >_<), not because I alone thought she was pretty... although that joke sounds like it has a certain level of potential...


Ah, I see (reffering to the Grayfang thing). Well, that pokes some holes in my defense sadly...

Reply Guest, May 23rd, 2007, 7:53 pm

I'll find some why to fix it........

If you could just edit the line about grefang that would be good....If not i'll do find a way.

You sent him a note through a random fox who wouldnt say anything and had a mask on when he deleibereed it.

The note was just a meeting place and telling him the reason....You wrote it not in your usally style in case some one managed to grab it....

Reply Afroman17, May 23rd, 2007, 7:53 pm

that just raises more questions....¬_¬

Reply Comik Radd, May 24th, 2007, 12:56 pm

The lack of myself is disturbing.

Reply jacob the comicmaker, May 24th, 2007, 3:40 pm

....

Reply turbo_da_hedgehog, May 24th, 2007, 10:05 pm

WOOT I finally appear

Reply Inferno (Guest), May 26th, 2007, 12:46 am

Should i mention the fact that i can turn into a ghost

Reply jacob the comicmaker, May 27th, 2007, 11:29 am

Unless you have sprites of it that are good than no In wouldnt montion it

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